We'll turn off all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow.
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Monday, May 31, 2010
10:05 PM Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time and hung me on a line Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you. Maybe even just for that short moment with nothing at the end of it all, its worth it. Maybe. Please be okay. Things will get better. Just dont lose hope and live. Keep your grandma going with you and k. I'll be here and theres nothing i can do. But i will do everything in my power if you need help. I still, love you.
Sunday, May 30, 2010 10:33 PM Time traveller. Thats what i'll be. Today, was an eventful day which im glad i was able to be there for you the whole day. Really. I'll do it again and im sorry youve got to go through this with me not being able to do much. But i'll do everything i can to help and you know that. Stay strong, just breathe, just live. I love you.
Saturday, May 29, 2010 11:12 PM This song is so old school! You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you You say goodnight, in my mind I'm sleeping next to you You drive away from my car crash of a heart And I don't know But you gave me the best mixtape I have And even all the bad songs ain't so bad I just wish there was so much more than that About me and you You talk to him, and it burns me like the sun You talk to her, and you say that you feel like he's the one I talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I feel You don't know Cause you gave me the best mixtape I have And even all the sad songs ain't so sad I only wish that there was more than that About me and you [Bridge] Oh, don't turn around and say bye again Yeah it crushes my head when you call me Your friend and I'm not the same person From back in the day in the back of the class That you thought was gay No I can't find the words cause I lost them The minute they fell out of my mouth And it's love and I'm in it, so give me your lips And just let me kiss 'em And let's get messed up and listen to probably... The best mixtape I have And even all the bad songs ain't so bad I just wish there was so much more than that About me and you About me and you About me and you About me and you About me and you About me and you I shopped quite a bit today my feet dropped off.(Haha) I love you. Friday, May 28, 2010 11:22 PM Its okay, we just...well travelled back for awhile. Its okay. We dont have to talk about it. It was sweet. Funny how can something so wrong feels so right all at the same time. I feel so shag today. I slept till half past noon but still i feel like it isnt enough. Must be all that odd hours sleeping less than 6hrs a day. Sigh. I wana start planning from my next holiday. I feel so...idontknow everyday now. Probably from the lack of sleep. So much running about to do to finish up everything with regards to grams. Im so tired. I just want everything to be simple and okay. Goodnight love. Thursday, May 27, 2010 11:44 PM Hello The wake is finally over. Ashes etc all gotten back. Everything done in one day. No more crying(i hope). It has been a crazy week for us all but it was nice to bond and catch up with the cousins. It hasnt quite settled yet that grams isnt around anymore. I mean..i dont know. And passing by the hospice everyday i go to work sure isnt gona help. We'll all miss her but shes at a better place now that im sure. No more pain. I just hope the family stays together. Today there were lots of running about. Going here and there rushing. I was really tired by the end of it all. Sorry you waited so long online for nothing. Momo is in the closet and i cant kidnap him cause David is sleeping there. It has been so warm. I wished i was in nz now. I feel like a bloody heater.Haha sigh. I feel so mundane and my body clock is sorta screwed up from all the odd hours the past few days. I finally got around washing my old navy tee shirts. Cant wait to see if it fits. Hahah i keep thinking its a sat tmr. Oh well. I feel like i need to disappear for a while. But i know its just like at the moment kinda thing. Oh i saw Donna Koh n a bunch of stc girls sending some girl off at the airport. Do you know donna koh? Anyway, yes i do not know what youre feeling and that doesnt make it any easier. Dont get me wrong. Its just a random feeling/thought. Sigh. I guess i should head to bed now. BB. PS: Thanks Gwen for coming down today to give me a surprise support. I love youuuuuu!
1:27 AM Do you remember the last time? It was a long hard one. Because I knew it'll be the last. 3 times cause I love you I said and you giggled. Wearing that yellow junk food tee I got you. I replay silly moments like this because I don't ever want them to be forgotten. Which again, is childish. You're not 71. You've got a long way to make new memories that will over take these ones. Sometimes texting you seems like I'm texting a stranger with things left unsaid. But when I see you, it comes rushing back. How did we landed up in this? Funny. Anyway with that being said, grams goes tmr. I really wished you could have been there by my side. But you owe me nothing now. Well not owe but you get my drift. Okay goodnight pretty face. Tuesday, May 25, 2010 11:28 PM Nights are the hardest. I miss you so much. Thanks for coming today. I was thinking about it yesterday and you suddenly said you'll pop by. It was a pleasant "surprise" though the weather really wasnt in our favor. It hurts to see you so upset and looking so gloomy. Wheres that pretty heart warming smile? Feel better soon and im here if you need to talk. I hope things gets better for you. If i could wrap you in a bubble, i would. So that you wouldnt have to take anything negative. Okay im starting to make you roll your eyes im sure. I have an ulcer thats like a bitch ): Goodnight beautiful.
12:20 AM Lighting struck, now its silent and dark Like to try to light a candle But for that I'd need a spark Our luck changed, dont know what Dont know when, but it changed, and now its hard Not to dwell on memories I know we'll grow, but we'll never bloom again I'm sure we'll grow, but we'll never bloom again. Now its cold on my side of the bed Though you're near, you're far away Partly here, partly gone Our luck changed,I dont know why Dont know when, I wonder where we would end up If we could start again I know we'll grow, but we'll never bloom again I'm sure we'll grow, but we'll never bloom again. I know we'll grow, but we'll never bloom again I'm sure we'll grow, but we'll never bloom again Monday, May 24, 2010 5:10 AM A little disappointing but better than nothing. My beloved grandma passed on at 5ish am yesterday and everything was just a whirlpool after. My eyes are dry,sore and aching from crying. It kinda blocks out the other pain I feel. But together, they're both equally heart breaking. Its 5am now and I just finished my shift downstairs n showered. Now lying in bed with my snoring sister. What are the odds of me being grumpy tmr? I'm so tired. Liane, Gwen, Mary, Clara and Rina dropped by and I thank you girls for coming. I really appreciate it. Esp clara cause I missed you so much n it was nice n comforting to see you again. Thursday would be another difficult day,the send off. Hello you, I know you probably don't come here anymore? I don't know. Anyway, thanks for saying hi before going dinner with godma. It was..well mixed feelings seeing you at first. Then it all came flowing back. I wished he wouldn't treat you like that. You do not deserve it, you're more than that but I get it, you lead your own life now. But you can do better than that. Anyway you had an awesome dinner, hope your sleep was sweet too. Have a good day at school. Xoxo Sunday, May 23, 2010 3:05 AM Hi there, Today was a pretty long day. Im bushed. We had one of the hospitalized cat collapsed on us 15mins to closing time. We were all packed up ready to go but she wasnt looking good so we decided to do bloods and in the midst of it all, she went into cardiac arrest and soon respiratory arrest and well..she passed on. Really old stray with renal failure. I only got off at 7pm but David and Marilyn came and got me. David took a slightly longer but nice drive home. We went through this road with no traffic lights and its was just trees and the reservoir beside. It was really nice with the sun almost down. Anyway, overall work was well..alright. I couldnt sleep till late so im tired. My dark eye rings are awful. How was training? It was raining. Did you guys manage to do much and oh..cycling too? Hmm anyhow, im sure you guys had a good day. I got home nearly around 8ish, went to grams and they dont think she'll live through the weekend, but i think she will pull through till at least mid of next week? I dont know. Shes already barely there. I had a bit for dinner and just sat around for a bit before leaving. What was for dinner? I went out with Liane and Sam instead of Jo and the rest, cause i wasnt up for Zouk as half of sg would be there and i dont fancy clubbing. So we went to Sams place for a bit then to town, cine and ended up at holland. It was so quiet its amazing! Oh and cause cine carpark is so tight, i got some paint on the car as i hit the post thingie turning into the park! /: ive not told mom. Dont really know how she'll take it. Haha its not THAT bad. But you can see the white paint-like scratches. So anyway we sat at Coffee bean for a bit just catching up and left around 2ish. Dropped Sam and Liane home and came back. So here i am now. And its 3.15am already. Momo is so tired he kept calling me to bed but have given up and is now sleeping in the closet for warmth since im not in bed. Lol that cutie. Hows tomato? I miss that ratbag. What you gona do tmr? Im probably gona go run and stay at grams and i dont know. Read. Well whatever youre doing, have a good day and have fun. Im sure you will anyway(: Mom is so emotional about grams i dont know whats gona happened when grams pass on. Sigh. Okay goodnight, hope youre sleeping well now. xoxo Friday, May 21, 2010 10:43 PM Because its not easy to just suddenly stop talking to someone youve been talking to almost every day for what seems like forever, im gona "talk"to you here till i get used to it. Hi, Today was really warm, tiring and almost impossible to pass. I only got to bed around 1ish and woke up at 5am for no good reason and couldnt go back to bed. Isnt that annoying? I ended up with blood shot eyes and falling asleep during an ultrasound. LOL but it was a short ultrasound just scanning the dogs prostate so it wasnt that bad. But my knees kept giving way. Im still at the back as usual and because the treatment area doesnt have an aircon, i smelt so gross after work. We did quite a few surgeries today. Pretty busy i would say. Hope tennis with your friends was fun. Im sure it was and youre probably a whole lot tanner now. We ended on time and mom picked me up because she didnt want me to go out, which made me grumpy. Grams...isnt in the best of shape now. They say its short days we're looking at now. I wanted to text you. But i know, i said i wouldnt speak to you cause thats what you want. Its so hard, how everyone sees the way im taking this grieve differently. By trying to distant myself. But i just feel even more miserable seeing her lying there as good as dead. I still think about you alot which would take a while to get over. Im sorry if i was harsh yesterday. I wasnt expecting anything when you came back being all idontknow. I told myself not to. But i guess some where inside i did thus the reaction. A part of me is happy for you. That youve found someone you really fancy and see a future with. But of course it aches. Its not me. But i get it, your still young and i cant tie you down. So thank you, for taking all my crazy reactions to it. But its never easy to watch someone whom you held so close love another, so im sure you understand. How was your day? Im sure it was a better one than mine. Im dreading work tmr because i dont know why either. I wonder if youre still gona reply my letter which you owe me. Okay the answer is no i guess. Hahah Have fun tmr. Im sure you will. xoxo. Thursday, May 20, 2010 11:34 PM What a stupid fucking fool.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 10:11 PM I wish I had the guts to just leave and walk away from this, forgetting everything we ever had. But I know you wouldn’t come after me, and that’s what hurts the most.
Monday, May 17, 2010 11:36 PM You dont even know her. So dont say such stuff. Fuck you, you fucking gaylord.
Thursday, May 13, 2010 10:42 PM Hello
Wednesday, May 12, 2010 11:06 PM I love the way my fingers just fall into yours. I love how your taste still lingers on my lips after that special goodnight kiss. I love how whenever I go to call someone I automatically dial your number. I love how you look at me with those gorgeous eyes and then you smile that sweet smile. I know right there that you will always be mine. I love how you hug me with the intention of never letting go. I love you more than words could ever show. Cheese balls.
1:03 AM Goodnight, beautiful world.
Sunday, May 09, 2010 10:29 PM  We used to be so happy, nothing could break us. What happened?
Friday, May 07, 2010 10:00 PM How do you do it so easily? Just not think about it at all. How did you say stuff and just forget it all with just a snap of the fingers? How do you sleep? Cause i sure as hell cant. How can you..just walk away? How could you have said all those stuff? How did you pretend it all. How am i gona get over this damn fucking issue. Yes get on with life. Easy for you to say. You never felt anything. You wont even bother defending yourself. Cause its nothing to you now. It doesnt matter. Might never have. Im venting. I will regret posting this right after i click post. I will still love you more than before after saying how much you suck. I will still care for you even though i know you dont. I still speak to you even though it hurts. I want to know things even though its bad. I dont know where this is going. I just need to speak to someone. But at the same time, i dont want to talk and whine about the same thing. I just need to get over my damn self. You probably wont speak to me after seeing this. And thats just gona suck. Oh well. Either ways. Its bad already. Argh. Just.the.thought.of.you.and.that.thing.makes.me.want.to.just.get.hit.by.a.car.and.come.back.as.a.cat. I hate the damn fucking stupid sport cheer song they keep playing. ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Btw guess what? My grandma is dying. What a nice thing to top it off. Life is such a fucking chore. Thursday, May 06, 2010 10:34 PM Ive got a headache and all i can think about is you. Im so -.-/ 0.0
Wednesday, May 05, 2010 9:25 PM I want you to remember the feel of my hair and remember the scent of my perfume I always wear. Remember my laugh and how sweet our kisses used to be. Remember the way that you used to love me.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010 11:17 PM Could i have loved you better?
Monday, May 03, 2010 10:13 PM Why do i feel so god damn miserable? Now lets not go to pathetic.
Sunday, May 02, 2010 6:27 PM I.cant.do.it.
10:25 AM OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. LORDY LORDY GODDDDD.
3:24 AM If you leave, don't leave now Please don't take my heart away Promise me just one more night Then we'll go our separate ways We always had time on our sides Now it's fading fast Every second every moment We've gotta make it last I touch you once, I touch you twice I won't let go at any price I need you now like I needed you then You always said we'd still be friends someday If you leave, I won't cry I won't waste a single day But if you leave, don't look back I'll be running the other way Seven years went under the bridge Like time was standing still Heaven knows what happens now You've gotta say you will One.more.night.
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